Relaxing Hair 3/3

So, my relaxer series is coming to an end. And with that I’m going to talk to you about the way I relax my hair, which I understand is best practice.

A few people think that the brand of my relaxer is the reason why my hair is growing the way it is. But as we’ve learned, it really is about the way I take care of my hair in between relaxers and critically, it’s how I retouch my hair when it becomes obvious that it needs a touch up. We’ve also learnt that relaxing is actually taking your hair through controlled damage to the protein structure that in turn loosens the tight knit curls.

If you want to get in a little deeper, let me know and I can look into Lye vs No Lye relaxers. Which one is the greater evil of the two?

So, I’ll get into the steps of how I relax my hair.

Prepping the Hair – Days before Retouch Day
About a week to 4 days before I retouch my hair I apply an intense protein treatment. I use the Aphogee Two-Step Protein Treatment. This bonds artificial protein to my hair (not created by my body), which strengthens it for 6 weeks at a time. I’ll do a series on Protein Treatments and why they are essential for chemically treated hair in the near future.

I ensure that my scalp isn’t going through an irritation phase, evidenced by itchiness, flaky skin…dandruff…etc.

I make sure that my hairline is stronger than before. I also do a general health check by checking the elasticity of my hair making sure it’s not dry, my ends are in check.

Prepping the Hair – Minutes Before Retouch
I make sure that I have all that I need for my retouch. I will list the utensils that I use and will include pics with captions below.

1 dye applicator (it’s got a brush end to it; the application of my relaxer is more accurate with this utensil)

2 pairs of gloves (I buy my own gloves that form to my fingers as the gloves they now have in relax kits are too flimsy for my taste)

1 face towel (to quickly wipe away any relaxer that goes on my skin)

3 hair clips (I use these to separate my hair out into sections)

My relaxer instructions and timer

I do NOT use a comb during my retouch process

The Retouch Process
I always make sure I take a peek at the instructions. With product updates, instructions do change slightly.

The instructions (as you can see below) are separated out into how long you should leave for processing based on your hair type. It is essential for you not to guess, but to actually know your hair type. This really makes a difference as most times women put the relaxer on for too long and that becomes the main reason why hair starts breaking just days after the retouching process.

What you need to keep in mind is that you’re organising a controlled damage to the protein structure of your hair. If you go over the recommended time, you’re now breaking that protein structure down even further and your hair, being weak, will certainly break. The times aren’t suggestions ladies, they are a MUST follow!

I separate my hair into halves and start using the end of my dye utensil to separate my hair into sections. I then use the brush section to apply the relaxer (only on my new growth), line by line within each section. Now I make sure that my new growth is long enough for a proper retouch that doesn’t touch my relaxed hair. So the recommended 6 weeks between relaxers is really the length of time you hair takes to recover from the chemical process and gives time for new growth to appear. I would suggest you retouch based on length. If your hair reaches past 6 weeks AND is long enough to ensure that you only retouch the new growth with a low risk of touching your relaxed hair, then that becomes the optimum time to retouch your hair.

Only retouch growth and follow ALL instructions

I then group the retouched hair within the divided sections that I initially created. I then massage (using the tip of my fingers), separating out my hair to make sure that the relaxer straightens all the hair I need straightened.

As my own personal rule, I add relaxer on my hair line at the end of the relaxer processing time. This ensures that my weak edges and limited hair doesn’t get over stimulated and processed.

Relaxer only goes on new growth

I then follow instructions and wash out the relaxer as advised, using the proper shampoo … etc

Conditioning is important. I use the conditioner that’s in the kit, and then I also deep condition my hair straight after the relaxer conditioner.

While my hair is wet, I glide coconut oil onto it. Coconut Oil has protein properties that mimic our protein structure for our own hair. I love the way it makes my hair feel, and it smells great.

Days after Retouch
I do a moisturising deep condition and an amla and peppermint oil scalp treatment on my next shampoo day (7 days later). And then my normal all encompassing regime continues.

I hope this has really given you needed insight on how I relax my hair and encourages you to start incorporating these measures. It’s a really delicate process cause you are putting chemicals to damage your hair into a permanently straight structure. I have to bold and caps this next statement


Happy Hair Journey Ladies


  1. Have you done something on relaxers which ones are very good for hair etc? I was looking through your facebook page and didn’t find anything.

    1. Hi Pat, my whole series on relaxers actually explains what relaxing your hair is doing to it.
      That’s actually more important than a brand. Once you understand what you’re actually doing to your hair, determine your hair type, you can start picking what strength of relaxer will work for you. I don’t recommend any relaxers as the way people take to relaxers is very different. Just check out the conversation on to see the disparities.

      If you click on this link —> it will take you through my relaxer series 1 to 3. This will give you more answers on relaxing and why it’s important to stick to what works for you. and if you haven’t found it, continue to patch test.

  2. paida · · Reply

    I love your website..I wish there was more on natural hair though..

    1. Thank you Paida …
      I’ll interview more ladies with natural hair. Cause I don’t have it, naturally I will post less on it. But I hear you…

  3. Sewela · · Reply

    Hi there, love ur website too, very informative, tell me, how many times must one relax their hair per year? ive recenlty decided to go afro so i can do dread locks but the pain of combing my afro is so not worth it and i have changed my mind about the locks so im considering relaxing my hair, i think the last time i relaxed my hair was 5 moths ago and i dont wana do plaits and stuff, please HELP.

    1. I hope you’ve read through the whole relaxer series. If not, get your sights on Relaxed Hair 1/2 and 1/2 as well.

      Only retouch your hair when you have about an inch of growth so that the chemical isn’t applied on already processed hair. I retouch about 3/4 times a year (every 12 weeks at least), cause that’s when I have enough growth to touch up.

      Understand that there’s a commitment to take care of your hair that you have to make before you relax your hair. So relaxing is structurally damaging your hair, and so the rest of your time (in-between-relaxers) you need to implement strategies that will make sure that your hair doesn’t break. Get onto the Back to Health Challenge > to get that part in order.

      Good Luck with your reading and your final choice.

  4. joana · · Reply

    Awesome stuff Phrophro, will be retouching my hair today so am off to get some of the products mentioned above. LONG HEALTHY HAIR HERE WE GO!!! Oh and I met Kavuli ysterday, for another hair blogger to highly commend another. .its amazing.You’re doin a remarkable thing for women world over

    1. wow! Such kind words, thank you so much! Let me know how you go with your relaxer!

  5. Jane wanjiru · · Reply

    Thanx 4 sharin

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